Tonight, I feel weak.

Moment of weakness.

My mind won't stop going back

to him.

Zack.

I miss him,

his touch, the way he held me.

Our whole relationship was drug induced.

I know.

So why do I still feel like,

I love him?

I don't want to think,

about him, about the pain,

at all.

Usually, now is when I'd turn to

the monster.

The beautiful, beautiful

monster.

She's calling to me, now. Can you hear her?

God, she's practically screaming.

I want to answer.

But I won't.

Why?

Because she's exactly why Zack

can't love me.

Never again, will I answer her calls.

-Victoria <3

Confessional.

Dear Journal,
I'll just lay it all out there, or my story won't make sense.
My name is Victoria and I'm an addict.

addicted to what, you might wonder?
Everything.
Nothing?
Only time will tell.

Maybe it's all in my head.
Some think it is.
Me? I blame the monster.

With every kiss, came a head rush, soon followed by lust, invincibility, and then I was left with nothing but the craving for more.
After every kiss, came pain, shakes, cold sweats, and unexplainable, uncontrollable anger.
Yet I begged for more.

She kept me sane, or so I believed.
But now, she only makes me crazy and I want to leave her, the monster, behind.

This, is my journey.

-Victoria <3